Excerpt

“All right, now it’s time for the three-legged race. We’re going to go in waves of five and do it bracket style. Come to me to grab your team’s rope and get prepared,” Mrs. M said.

Grace sat on the ground, joining her leg with one of her younger cousins. I suddenly felt self-conscious about the short shorts I chose to wear over my swimsuit. Imagining my jiggiling thigh having to be tied up to a stranger’s was my version of a nightmare. Would he notice the stretch marks that striped down my inner thighs? Would he be disgusted by me when he saw them?

It suddenly felt like all of the air had been pushed out of my lungs. I swayed on my feet as the ringing in my ears began. No matter how many panic attacks I had, my body always believed that it was dying. My body told me that I couldn’t catch my breath, that I was going to actually die in Sandcastle Park in my polka dotted swimsuit before I even got to eat lunch.

I plopped onto the ground and put my head between my legs, trying to catch my breath again. George’s voice played over the pounding of my heart and the ringing in my ears, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I squinted my eyes closed in an effort to make everything stop. My body didn’t listen.

Excerpt

“What?” Mom asked. No one moved and the silence that hung in the air stung my ears.

“I didn’t pass English and Ohio State didn’t accept me again,” I said.

Nothing can describe the feeling of your mother’s disappointment and your cousin’s vehement hatred rolling over you all at once. The tears already fell down my face and I knew that if I didn’t leave soon my sadness and embarrassment would explode all over the dining room with no survivors in its wake. I took another look around the table before I ran upstairs.

I couldn’t face the Ohio-State-infested room, so I climbed out my window and onto my roof. I curled my arms around my legs, allowing myself to cry. Everything had finally fallen apart. Mom knew, Claire knew, and now I finally had to admit it to myself. I couldn’t pretend that it would work out or put off the discussion for another day. My failure was here, in my face, and ready to punch me in the gut repeatedly. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and dialed the one number that can solve any crisis.

“Zoe? Come pick me up? It’s an emergency.”

She was on her way before I finished my sentence.

Praise for To Be Honest:

An NPR Best YA Book of 2018

"The portrayal of Savvy’s mother’s eating disorder is sensitive and will resonate strongly with readers close to this issue. ... Savvy’s story is a welcome one in today’s YA market and will help spread a much-needed message to teens about parental mental health issues and the potential dangers of diet culture. A first purchase for libraries serving adolescents." ―School Library Journal, starred review

"I cannot tell you how incredibly refreshing this is! I love that the book, itself, is not obsessed with its plus-size main character. Maggie Ann Martin actually allows us to look past Savvy's weight into other aspects of her life, and it's a shame that books like this are so few and far between." ―NPR

"To Be Honest captures the struggle to be proud of who you are and to find the courage to live boldly, no matter your shape or size, an idea that is wonderful to see presented to teen audiences. For fans of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and Dumplin’, Maggie Ann Martin’s latest is sure to please both teens and adults alike who are in search of a moving and heartwarming story." ―GERM Magazine

"This summer read tackles difficult subjects―anxiety and mental health, eating disorders, and more―while still keeping it a light and fun story about all kinds of love: parental, sibling, friendship, romantic, and most importantly, loving yourself." ―Bustle

"To Be Honest by Maggie Ann Martin took my emotions on a joyride and didn’t let them off until the very end. More and more Young Adult novels are featuring serious themes even though it’s not the focus of the book and I absolutely love it. If this story sounds like your cup of tea, I highly recommend picking it up." ―The Young Folks

"This is a super sweet novel that’s surprisingly lighthearted despite some of the pretty serious issues dealt with throughout (eating disorders, living with anxiety, complicated family dynamics, etc.). ... Savvy is unerringly body positive (with some occasional moments of insecurity, just like anyone)." ―Book Riot

"To Be Honest breaks down the ways criticism masked as concern can be so harmful to young women. And it’s an empowering reminder to love our bodies, regardless of size." ―HelloGiggles

"Unapologetically promotes healthy body image and love for oneself. Savvy and her mother provide the reader with diametrically opposed perspectives concerning the psychological impact of body shaming: Savvy possesses a strong, positive image while her mother derives self-worth from a scale. ... Educators and librarians seeking literature that resonates with female readers who struggle with body image will want to add this novel to their shelves." ―VOYA

"To be honest...we loved the latest novel by Maggie Ann Martin! ... With her [Savannah], Martin has created a beautifully rendered portrait of a high school senior. She feels real and interesting, and like someone who you’d definitely want to drive around blasting Eminem with, if only because that’s her favorite past time!" ―Hypable

"A refreshing YA contemporary novel that wrestles with self-love, anxiety, and family. ... I would imagine people who loved Leah on the Offbeat, The Upside of Unrequited, or Turtles All the Way Down will also love this novel." ―Better Books and Other Things

"I freaking adore this book! To Be Honest is the most honest young adult contemporary novel I have read in a while ... this book is worth every penny." ―It's A Book Life

"This book was impossible to put down from the moment I started reading, and I flew through it so quickly that I could honestly read it again ... I'm so thankful to Maggie Ann Martin for writing this fantastic book and to Swoon Reads for publishing it!" ―My Endless Shelf

"To Be Honest had me laughing and I even shed a few tears. Savannah is such a smart and strong character who is doing her best to love her body." ―The Book Dutchesses

"To Be Honest has to be one of the most honest reads out there today!" ―Bookish Wisps

Praise for The Big F: